Two hours of Awe...some.

Five weeks ago I shared in my love letter//substack about Matt’s passing that “embarrassingly enough, I thought I was teaching him things - in retrospect he was teaching me so much more.”

In typical Matt fashion, driving it home unapologetically and with a little cherry on top; he’s done it again.

Monday, October 30th at 11am, I had the absolute life altering and life affirming experience of sitting with teacher, author, mother, and psychic medium Laura Lynne Jackson. My client and friend Jen Aniston had texted me after hearing about Matt and, on behalf of her gracious heart, orchestrated a connection between myself and Laura Lynne that I’ll cherish forever.

I was elated as I had already completed both of her books.

Within the first 90 seconds of our phone call I blurted out “Laura Lynne - I am indebted to you for providing me a language of ‘SIGNS’ that has already provided me so much comfort.”

She was so humble and always gave credit to the other side for their guidance.

I was shaking with nervous energy.

From there she explained, as she does in her books, that she would then close her eyes and her screen would appear in her field of vision. Her system is unique to her as she had no mentors growing into her abilities primarily because she’d tried to shut down and dismiss these gifts for decades prior.

Clearly, she has overcome that struggle now as she is world renowned and listed at the Forever Family Foundation and the Windbridge Research Center which are two of the most elite certifications for mediumship. She did mention that every reading is different, that she is not the mind of God, and that she can only share what our guides or loved ones share with her. Not to mention, they will only share what is on our highest path for good on earth.

Our reading began with her seeing and explaining my aura. She began with a smile in her voice as she explained there was a glimmering white light at my core, indicative of a global soul mission, meaning I’m meant to affect people on different continents that I will never meet. As she began detailing what the other colors represent, she stumbled and said, “I’m sorry, I just…there is someone so eager pushing through. I’m going to have to come back to this. Oh wow, okay this must be your person who's just crossed over. He’s got jumping energy, like getting ready for a big game. I feel a soul mate connection immediately. He is telling me to ‘grab some popcorn and snuggle up, cuz this about to get good!’”

I laughed out loud.

Yup, that’s him.

She read me for 2 hours straight.

I only interjected to confirm or clarify what she was seeing and hearing.

I cried. I laughed. I was an immediate believer.

This was my literal face for the entire call. Just this look and snotty TEARS for 2 hours straight.

A few key moments that left such resonance for me were:

• I will 'apparently’ be writing another book about life, love, grief and spirituality. I’ve always wanted to write an adult book but was never clear on the message or the direction. Matt and my guides shared that the downloads will come 5 months from now and doorways will begin to open. I was like ummm, that’s kinda specific and that sounds like a lotta work man. Eeeek.

• Matt saw the 2 celebrations of life in Los Angeles and Sarasota. He was blown away by how his legacy has affected people far and wide and much of which I will have no understanding of. He explained that a walk of some kind would be done in the future, outside of my circle, that is tied to him and tied to athletics. (I found out from his mom 2 days ago that someone had reached out in FL about holding a golf tournament in his name. I had no reference point for this. How cool is that!)

• Matt was with his sisters on the other side (and a bunch of dogs) and they had beautiful messages for his mom and dad. There was so much gratitude and healing and love. It was just over the top and beautiful.

• Laura Lynne asked me what was significant about Beau’s last birthday? I said we were at a Chargers game together and it’s the screensaver on my phone. She said “Do you love, love, love this photo because in Matt’s life review this was such a powerful, best day sort of feeling.” Matt is just expressing how much he loved that moment.

• Laura Lynne said “Interesting…you were having some sort of visceral reaction prior to him passing. Months prior.” I said YES! “You both knew something was off and I don’t know but something very acute … were you itching, did it get crazy bad at night?” (If you’re new here, I had a 2 month long, full body undiagnosable rash that would cause me to itch for an hour or 2 in the middle of the night and then through out the day. My doctors and my retired surgeon/allergist father were all perplexed by this.) Laura continued, “Just so you know, every cell in your being holds memory and our brains keep us from fully remembering this but we’re all spiritual light energy in these physical bodies and your body knew. Logically you couldn’t make sense of it. In retrospect, that was wasn’t an accident of fate, your body knew, and your time with Matt was a gift. That unexplainable rash validates this for you. Matt wants you to immediately stop blaming yourself and to stop hashing out the “what-ifs”. You were blocked from knowing anything bc you weren’t allowed to stop this. Matt is very clear that you need to let it go completely. This may sound dramatic but you were destined to meet and you never needed to be married, your contract was the equivalent of a marriage.

• He wants you to know that on the other side, he has the final word and he is 100% right that Samsung is superior to Apple. HA!

• He also wants us to know aliens are real. HAHA!!

• Laura Lynne said “He’s apologizing about the laundry”. This is wild because one day shortly after Matt passed, I was doing laundry and I just yelled into the air…

  “Now I gotta do all this laundry and my other chores too!!” Matt was chief of laundry in our house and I chuckled out loud when she said Matt’s saying he’s “sorry you got left with the laundry”.

• Laura Lynne said he’s getting serious and saying ‘he’s sorry about all of this’. He is telling you that this was his final doorway and that he had no clue this was coming. He did laugh and say his sudden passing was for the best because he was very busy and in the middle of like 4 projects. I confirmed this as Matt was always juggling multiple projects. He shared that his passing is propelling me into growth deeper than I can fully understand. Apparently, part of Matt’s mission was to love me. He explained all aspects of life are intertwined, once we cross over and we aren’t confined to these earthly bodies - it’s like being broadcast and being in multiple places at the same time. He needed to be fully engaged in life and our love helped him do this. (I gotta pause here and say I have such a hard time typing this because it feels indulgent. When Laura Lynne shared these messages, I had to really examine myself in order to believe that LOVING ME was part of his mission. I clearly have work to do in this regard. He did love me so selflessly … I had so much to learn from him and ironically I continue to do so.)

There was more but I’ll wrap this up.

As we closed our session, peace and comfort washed over me. I tied up so many loose ends with my soul mate. He validated me in ways that were just doused in unconditional love. I asked Laura Lynne how to pay her for her time and what to do next … she said “Oh no. This one is from Matt. This is his gift to you. He made this happen. Sometimes the message is crystal clear from the other side and that’s what I’m hearing.”

If you hear anything, please know how loved and guided and protected we are.

You and I are backed by an army of support that is above and beyond a love we have reference for.

What if we could just remember this?

What if we could just allow that love to be at our backs day in and day out?

What if we couldn’t get it wrong and even when it feels that we have, we remember our spiritual bumpers are ready and willing to steer us toward our highest good?

She gave me clarity and hope and a conversation I’ll never forget.

This life is but a show my friends.

We’re in it but we’re not of it.

You are L O V E through and through.

If the minutes or hours are passing you by, I beg of you (and I think I have Matt’s approval on this) cultivate your relationships while you’re here and look for the signs from those who’ve gone before you.

This life is AWE some.

OKAYILOVEYOUBYEEE,

xx

Nic.

ps. Classes this week are below:

* Tuesday (today) QUICKIE YOGA 12-12:30pm pst. $10. This is a well rounded, accessible yoga flow paired with music that includes mobility work and a 5 minute savasana. It’s meant to be a community offering at $10 a class and if you need financial assistance, just reach out. Hope to see you soon. Sign up here.

* Saturday FULL BODY STRENGTH 7:30-8am pst. $20. This is part of my November Fit program but open for anyone to drop in. The group energy is excellent and we begin with CARs, strength train and sweat it out with friends. Bring a glute loop/resistance band, lighter and heavier weights. Sign up here.

* Saturday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW 9-10am, 10:15-11:15am. I’M BACK TO MY FULL WEEKEND IN PERSON SCHEDULE. Thank you for your patience.
In person, in Santa Monica. Come on out. Sign up here.

* Sunday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW. 10:45-11:45am. In person, in Santa Monica. Come on out. Sign up here.

pps. November Fit is still open for drop ins and registration. You can learn more here or pop in per class if that suits you. Strength training with a focus on mobility, FUN, and healthy habit stacking. All levels welcome.

ppps. Kinstretch is still on hold as the day and time are just too close to home without having Matt as my model. If you have suggestions or requests for days and times, I’m all ears…

pppps. I had the supreme pleasure of meeting, in person, my long time friend Lisa Hayim. I was so shocked to see her. This surprise completely reaffirmed the necessity of finding your people WHEREVER they may be. She took class at Aviator Nation and then we sat on the floor and downloaded all of life’s little Scooby snacks like we’d done it all our lives. When we were chatting she said ‘you know you’re the definition of “awesome”. You inspire awe’. I quickly rebounded and brushed if off because I’m working on receiving love AND that moment hit hard. Here is a woman I deeply respect telling me that I inspire awe. I sat with it as we kept talking and then made a mental note “absorb this”.

Grief is a process. Growth is a process. And I’m doing both.

Now, look how cool she is…