The Weight...

The other night I proudly tucked myself into bed at 8:37pm and thought YOU’RE WINNING NICOLE!

My cozy weighted blanket stuffed with quartz crystals, rose crystals, and amethyst was strewn on top of my duvet and I had my new book in hand. This blanket was given to me by my precious Sweat and Stillness community after Matt passed away and wow…it is something special (as are each of the folks who contributed to me owning it).

Side note: If you’re looking for a meaningful gift (I probably could have shared this before Christmas day) this weighted blanket by Sunday Citizen is a luxurious treat. I would never have bought this for myself but when I opened the package I gasped because I knew it would come in handy for my heart’s healing.

So I’m in bed and next thing you know, I start scrolling Tik Tok.

IYKYK. The freaking bedtime Tik Tok scroll is a trap.

I often watch funny Tik Tok videos with Beau and if you’re unaware, there are some HILARIOUS people on this planet. I happened upon this video of a cat that had me in tears, laughing out loud, alone in my bed when I should have been reading or better yet, sleeping. Also, please read the comments. This is what I mean when I say people are so super duper funny.

Within a matter of minutes my joyous tears of entertainment turned into hysterical, heart wrenching tears of sadness. I went to send it to Matt. This is the second time in over 3 months that I’ve attempted this. Honestly, I’m shocked it hasn’t happened more.

From what I’m gathering this year has been difficult for so many of you.

I hate that.

I frantically (not unlike the cat in the video) tried to get out of bed with tears in my eyes, snot rolling down my chin, and this 15 lb blanket that felt like a ton of bricks. It was a sight, I’m sure. Moments ago I was snuggled up like a swaddled newborn and then in my fit of desperation, I couldn’t escape.

Life, man.

Over the last 4 days I’ve had a handful of conversations and all of them left me thinking the weight of the world will do a number on us if we aren’t selective. There is something about grief that cracks you wide open and if you’re lucky you can hold on to this personal spaciousness that becomes a sliver of refuge for people who are also battling…something.

The conversations became almost confessional and in the very best way. One friend recognized that her intuition - her deep knowing - was right all along. She was in tears as she affirmed this aloud to me. Another friend took the long road to self love…a literal decade in the making but she landed “at home in her body” and I could hear the relief in her voice. Another friend, by way of a complicated and prickly situation, found her voice and proved to herself that she can and is evolving.

The real trap is self limitation. I say this with as much cushioning as possible because I’m consistently dissecting these patterns in my own life. If you were raised to see the ceiling and to monitor your own growth so as to not ‘hit your head’ or better yet make others uncomfortable, you’re not alone.

Consider this, if you can only see red, blue, and yellow…

If you only move north, south, east, and west…

If you can only hear the same 5 chords in music … you’re trapped.

This self imposed ball and chain holds our suffering close to the chest. After all, the limitless you wouldn’t be tethered to 3 colors, 4 directions, and 5 chords.

In life the weight is comfortable until it’s not.

When I was pregnant I gained 76 lbs (yay preeclampsia, severe edema, and pregnancy induced hypertension) and I remember not understanding my body in the slightest. The extra weight was oppressive and challenged my breath - don’t forget I was teaching yoga and spin classes up until 32 weeks because you know that whole ‘open a fitness studio, then get pregnant’ chapter…

This is my favorite picture of pregnancy for 2 reasons: 1) It’s hilarious. 2) If this looks rough, it felt 50x worse than it appears. I remember taking this photo and forcing this smile. Ugh. Every small action was a chore and inspiring movement was my job. Not a winning combo.

*Also, this is a MONTH before I gave birth. Where is my neck? God bless.

Back to my point … conversely adding more weight to your workouts builds muscle mass, increases stamina, reduces the risk for illness and disease over time, and so much more. Kinda like how weighted blankets use deep pressure stimulation, which is thought to stimulate production of the mood-boosting hormone serotonin and even reduce the stress hormone cortisol.

Weight can be good.

Thank goodness you have options.

Is the weight serving you?

The ceiling might’ve made sense for your childhood best friend or your old boss.

Three colors, four directions, and five notes might be enough beauty for your neighbor.

Seventy-six pounds was necessary for a healthy, perfect baby boy.

A 15 lb blanket of crystals has helped me heal and sleep more soundly, that much I know.

So, is the weight serving you?

The world will hold opinions about E V E R Y T H I N G. None of that matters until you’ve asked yourself if the limitation or addition of ‘the weight’ is serving you or suffocating you.

It’s really not the weight, it’s the limitation.

OKAYILOVEYOUBYEEE,

xx

Nic.

PS. CLASSES THIS WEEK:

* Tuesday (today) QUICKIE YOGA 12-12:30pm pst. $10. This is a well rounded, accessible yoga flow paired with music that includes mobility work and a 5 minute savasana. It’s meant to be a community offering at $10 a class and if you need financial assistance, just reach out. Hope to see you soon. Sign up here.

* Friday MOBILITY YOGA FLOW 6:30-7:05am pst. $20. This is part of my December Fit program and open for anyone to drop in. This is an intelligent flow based in rotational movement. It will be accessible for all levels and a feel good flow set to music. Grab a block and join us. Sign up here.

* Saturday FULL BODY STRENGTH 7:30-8:05am pst. $20. This is part of my December Fit program but open for anyone to drop in. The group energy is excellent and we begin with CARs, strength train and sweat it out with friends. Bring a glute loop/resistance band, lighter and heavier weights. Sign up here.

pps. NEW YEARS EVE FULL BODY STRENGTH CLASS. (( donation only)) Sunday December 31st 7-7:45am pst. We had such a blast in our donation only Thanksgiving class and although that GRATITUDE theme may be my absolute favorite, I must say ‘beginning again’ is a very close second. Come join us for a BIG sweat fest filled with laughter, a little burn burn in your bum bum, and a guided meditation. Learn more here and book your spot. Donations only…no pressure my friends…

ppps. As I launch my JANUARY FIT 2024 program I want to invite you to deeply consider how 35 minutes, 4 times a week could be the small change you need. As of this month, I’ve added 10 minutes to our Saturday class (woop woop). The breakdown is below. I’m thrilled because we’ll be less rushed and can enjoy our full 5 minute guided meditation. Maybe next month you’ll walk more, remember your inner strength, laugh more often, sleep deeper, open your schedule for more ‘you’ time and harness your energy with more clarity and passion. All of these *side effects* are just a few positives past clients have shared with me.

Mondays 6:30-7:05am pst Lower body.

Wednesdays 6:30-7:05am pst Upper body.

Fridays 6:30-7:05am pst Mobility Yoga Flow

Saturdays 7:15-8am pst Full body. (Please notice the extra 10 min and earlier start time.)

The classes all begin and end with CARs, they live on demand for the entire month so you can train after work or repeat them as desired, and our optional but incredible Instagram chat group is a great resource for support, laughter, venting and connection. 2024 is the perfect time to clear your mind, train your body, and elevate your spirit. Let’s get ready FOR THE BEST THAT’S YET TO COME. Book it here.