She's at a 7, we need her at a 3.

The darkest part of growth is the hallway you enter when you finally decide to change.

That moment where you say, once and for all, this must stop.

I’m not sure if that’s considered a true rock bottom bc I like to keep my options open (lol) however choosing to pause the game and assess your standing is uncomfortable, period.

Adapting to my new life schedule, new grief, new workload and the moving target that is childcare/parenting has quite literally required me to pause the game.

JUST ASK ANY PRE-TEEN HOW TORTUROUS IT IS TO PAUSE THE GAME.

uuuuuuugh.

Sharon Land, one of my elephant queens, called to check in on me and after 15 minutes of my rambling she drops a golden nugget (which she does every time we speak) and asked me if I was “creating a scenario that doesn’t exist just so I can attach a worry to it?”

It’s a good thing the game was paused bc I just stood in my kitchen dumbfounded.

What.

Why on earth would IdothatohmygodI’mabsolutelydoingthat.

Annoyed with myself, I just exhaled.

If I create a false projection that may or may not occur even if there were similiar instances in the past that “might” justify my thinking, the fact remains my nervous system responds as if it’s really happening now.

We discussed how my level of operations was a buzzing 7 on most days. It’s a default setting that I can maintain and have for years. This explains why I absolutely break in half when one thing goes sideways. That tipping point becomes a domino effect of bad news, flat tires, missed appointments, a dog emergency, or whatever it may be and then I am dialed up to a 9 crying in the Trader Joe’s parking lot.

So whether I’m at a seven or I’m at a nine, I find myself over faced in the now moment bc I’ve equated the future with a couple hard times that I’ve experienced in the past.

Sharon continued to explain she would love to see my nervous system reside at a three… regularly.

My first thought was “well there goes my personality”.

I’m kidding. Mostly.

For all I know, maybe I’d be funnier at a three - at the very least, less chaotic.

Sharon hit the nail on the head because Sunday as I was driving to work zoning out all alone, I got to thinking about how I’m fueling my own fire.

I’m literally creating scenarios to attach worries to them.

If you’ve ever done this or you have a habit of doing this or maybe you read that sentence and your jaw dropped the same way mine did in the kitchen, this is not a life sentence for us.

I realized on the way to teach my class that I had to find neutral. No matter what - I had to find neutral.

You open the door and you walk into the dark hallway and the more courageous you are about walking down that hallway the quicker you will see the light. Another piece of the puzzle is creating a safe routine. You may need to re-configure that routine a few times to find your rhythm. This is another plug and proclamation of gratitude for my online community. Our monthly strength training group is 40% mental, 40% spiritual and 20% physical. I can’t imagine how I’d be fairing without our programming.

When we encounter people that we have uneasy feelings about, we are meeting them with the past. Often, the body is conditioned to be the mind and it sets off a chain reaction of chemicals to prepare us for this person or the situation.

I’m going to be the guinea pig. This week my goal is to seek neutral and maybe land at a 3.

In my body this will feel grounded, nonreactive, hopeful, in flow.

It’s crazy how society will sell you on “a ten”. Get the house, get the money, get the new car, get the perfect relationship, get the A+ children, get the promotion, get the perfect body, be of service at all times, never let them see you sweat…

That’s a 10 all right …

And we’re gonna need you at three.

OKAYILOVEYOUBYEEE,

xx

Nic.

ps. * Tuesday QUICKIE YOGA (today) 12-12:30pm pst. $10. A well rounded music based mobility focused yoga flow. This was created as a community class and if you ever need financial assistance to attend - please just reach out or use code NEWFRIEND to try a class for free. Sign up here.

* Saturday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW 9-10am, 10:15-11:15am. In person, in Santa Monica. Come on out. Sign up here.

* Sunday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW. 10:45-11:45am. In person, in Santa Monica. Come on out. Sign up here.

pps. Did you know I have a “free trial/beginner” section on my site. You can always try these classes to see if you and I might be a good “fitness-fit”. LOL

ppps. AUGUST FIT 2024!! SHE COMING THIS FRIDAY…

Imagine the ways your life would improve if you:

…laughed first thing in the morning?

…started to see muscle tone developing?

…could walk up stairs, carry groceries, chase your kids without being breathless?

…slept better because you had intelligently taxed your body?

…improved bone density by lifting heavy things?

…felt connected and supported by women all over the country (and internationally).

…finally committed to putting yourself first so that you can pour into others?

All of these are available to you … and more. I promise.

• 13 classes over the course of 30 days. (Aug 2-Aug24)

• They all begin and end with CARS, because obviously. Classes are 35 minutes (45 minutes on Saturdays), accessible for all levels, and they will live on demand in case you miss the live session.

• We have an optional IG chat group that keeps the party going all month long. Train for improved strength, laugh while you sweat, and bring your dance moves because each class has a mini 3 minute cardio dance break to shift your mood and ignite lymphatic drainage. Learn more here.

ppps. EPISODE 32 of SHOCK AND Y’ALL is out now.

I’m speaking with my alma mater’s (Loyola Marymount University) beloved Men’s Basketball coach STAN JOHNSON. Wow. Coaches always be coaching! This interview is loaded with words of wisdom, great advice, moving personal stories and that time where I told a professional basketball coach that free throws should be called SOLOS because that makes more sense and is an obvious miss on the part of “whomever names basketball skills”. Stan is the absolute best motivator and he breaks excellence down in simple terms. Can’t wait for you to hear this … Here is a sneak peek:

OH WAIT. You still here … could you, would you, pretty please leave us a review on Apple podcasts. Just click this link leave your thoughts and “stars” and I’ll send you an energetic HIGH FIVE along with my sincere appreciation.