On Mute.

I’ve lost my voice. We’re going on day 4 now.

My bday was exactly a week ago and that blessed night Beau started coming down with a mild-ish flu or something. He asked if he could sleep in my bed and of course I’m down to like my last 5 nights of that request being made AT ALL, so I said “absolutely my love”.

As he piled his nearly 6ft 2 frame under the covers, then proceeded to cup his cheeks with his giant hands, laying on my extra pillow, coughing directly into my nostrils, I sighed.

A) I had to face him because all mothers know your child is never more magical and lovable than when they are fast asleep and b) refer to A.

As I watched him breathe deeply and peacefully I muttered you better not get me sick, kid. Mama does not have time for that.

Cut to 3 days later and I started feeling tired. More tired than usual.

By Friday night, I was losing my voice. I knew by bedtime that it was a wrap on the vocal cords.

This occurs a few times a year but resolves quickly. This go is taking longer.

I’m not pleased.

As I barely made it through my 3rd class Saturday morning (shout out to the students that put up with my phone sex operator yoga voice) I got into my car to drive to Newport Beach and had a quick premonition that this girls trip weekend might be different. I’d still be rallying but there would be more listening - less YAPPING from yer girl.

This trip coupled with the loss of our very dear family friend the day before my birthday, Beau’s lingering sickness, a date, the launch of my retreat, a life of basketball practices and tournaments, and oh you know my full time job sweating, podcasting, writing, and the rest … it’s no surprise my voice gave me the middle finger.

The lesson is always ‘slow down’ which is fine.

I receive it.

I listen.

The ooooooother lesson that made itself crystal clear occurred on the girls overnight trip in Newport Beach.

I’m used to running my mouth, cracking jokes, screaming over my other girlfriends (its an acceptable behavior amongst this crowd - trust me) and just generally doing life at 110% when I’m with these legendary women.

It was great.

Interestingly enough, every conversation held more weight for me.

I could hear the full story, observe the holes in the conversation, receive the emotional breakdowns, witness the absolute insane story telling followed by pee your pants laughter. I could HEAR IT and FEEL IT.

The experience was heightened by my inability to speak.

Without the opportunity to interrupt or respond or make a dad joke, I just absorbed so much more.

The extrovert in me was really struggling. She likes being part of the scene, but Saturday night it was as if the universe took me by the shoulders and said sit down and shut your mouth.

So I did.

I got to hold space for one of my girlfriends who is always, always, always holding it for other people. She’s gracious and empathetic, bright and educated and she doesn’t crack. I mean she does but she’s walking through something right now that is inescapable. It’s the sort of growth we all hope to survive JUST to reach the other side in one piece.

I was able to reflect something back to her, but had to be very strategic considering I only had so many words at my disposal.

That was a beautiful challenge.

The other aha moment was just being able to witness my friends almost as if I wasn’t there … It’s not like they weren’t including me-they were-I wasn’t including myself with the energy and chatter I’m known for.

I didn’t ask but they probably didn’t notice.

I did though.

When something (a.k.a. everything) happens for you, how long will you deny and resist the opportunity for growth? What would it look like for you to collectively pause and observe instead?

Speaking for myself, I’ve missed a world of information because I had the floor.

Sometimes putting yourself on mute makes everything that much more obvious.

OKAYILOVEYOUBYEEE,

xx

Nic.

ps. * Tuesday QUICKIE YOGA. 12-12:30pm pst. $10. A well rounded music based mobility focused yoga flow. This was created as a community class and if you ever need financial assistance to attend - please just reach out or use code NEWFRIEND to try a class for free. Sign up here.

* Saturday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW 9-10am, 10:15-11:15am. In person, in Santa Monica. Come on out. Sign up here.

* Sunday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW 10:45-11:45am. In person, in Santa Monica. Come on out. Sign up here.

pps. PALM DESERT RETREAT OCT 1-4th, 2026 HAS ONE REMAINING ROOM AVAILABLE. I know. The email went out last week and was nearly sold out in 36 hours. If you’re up for the master bedroom (split it with a gf) then please reply here so we can discuss it. I’m sure it’ll sell out but maybe this is the SIGN you were waiting for … love you. Join us. Reply to this email sis…

pps. NEW EPISODE OF SHOCK AND Y’ALL IS OUT NOW. I’m speaking with MICHELLE KILDUFF. Michelle is Peptide Performance Coach, no-BS translator between prescriptions and actual results, and the woman you want in your corner if you’ve ever thought, “I’m doing peptides… so why do I still feel meh?” Michelle bridges the gap most people fall into. She works alongside prescribing physicians to make sure peptide therapy doesn’t just look good on paper — it works in real life. Because here’s the quiet truth: peptides don’t fix under-fueling, burnout, bad training, poor sleep, or inconsistency. And throwing more money at the problem doesn’t either. With over seven years in nutrition and strength coaching, Michelle helps high-achieving women get a real return on their peptide investment by addressing the missing link most protocols ignore — behavior, metabolism, and follow-through. Translation: she makes sure your lifestyle can actually support the therapy you’re injecting. Her philosophy is simple but rare: teach, don’t dictate. She empowers clients to understand what they’re doing, why they’re doing it, and how to stay confident and compliant long after a protocol ends. She’s a mom of two, lifts heavy, practices yoga, and believes in direct communication backed by evidence and results — not vibes alone. If you’re ready to stop outsourcing your health to a protocol and start leading it with intention, this episode is for you.

Get excited … and let me know what you think:

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