Not a bird in my house...

Again.

Do you have any idea how many birds have flown INTO my house? As of Saturday, March 16th it’s six birds, y’all. Matt and I would always be ushering hummingbirds out of the house because they’d come through the open sliding glass door and then go up to our 20+ft ceilings and be so confused.

It pained us to watch this.

The first time we paaaaanicked. (thank God for Charlotte, Matt’s work friend who was on the phone with him and whose sister’s job is to literally save animals from disasters like this. She coached us through it. Also, what are the odds. For real.)

The second time we were dumbfounded.

The third time we knew what to do.

The fourth time we were even more efficient.

The fifth time I was alone and Matt had passed away and I was pissed and I said out loud “MATT IF YOU’RE UP THERE, YOU GET HIM OUT CUZ I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS MESS.”

The sixth time was Saturday the 16th - the 6 month anniversary of Matt’s passing. This time it wasn’t a hummingbird. It was a bird, bird. A medium sized cute one with a white belly.

I heard the chirp as I was staring at my BLANK screen attempting to write this very email. Immediately, I thought “oh hell no. That is not coming from inside the house.”

But of course it was coming from inside the house.

I saw a black blur swoosh from a tall window onto the stairs. I carefully walked over and this bird whipped its head around, looked me in the eye, chirped and then flew directly into the master bedroom.

I was like “NAAAAHHHH BRO. No. Not like this.”

I go upstairs and start shutting every open door. I could hear he’d made his way into the bathroom. Immediately, I closed the bedroom closet, opened the upstairs balcony door then covered all the mirrors with blankets.

I peaked my head into the bathroom and he flew right up into the shower skylight.

Lemme tell you something. When this happens you instinctively start making bird call sounds. Do you know how ridiculous it feels to be hiding in your own bathroom from a wild bird while attempting to communicate w chirps? I could have literally been saying “hello, let’s mate” or straight up speaking “bird Spanish” for all I know.

Or worse…just scaring him.

Finally he flew down and out, straight into a sliver of mirror, did an about face and into the master bedroom. He did a big sweeping tour of the room, landed on one of my hats, saw the open balcony and then freed himself flying up into the afternoon sky.

Was that as exhausting to read as it was for me to type? Probably.

Also the extreme adrenaline I feel every time a bird flys into my house (who types sentences like this) is so real. Even Moose was like what do we do mom?

After the bird was set free, I was snuggling Moose giving him the play by play about how we saved it’s life … then I paused.

That was Matt.

That was a sign.

Again.

During my reading in October with legendary psychic medium Laura Lynn Jackson, she said Matt had been sending bird signs to his mama. She was missing them.

“LL Cool J”, as we call her, told me that Matt needs his mom to know those birds are from him.

So I told her.

She gasped and said I knew it!

Are you ready for this …

Saturday, March 16th is also his mom’s birthday.

The signs are everywhere.

Recently, in a moment of doubt, I was thinking maybe I read into it all too much.

In that same breath, I receive incredible hope, comfort, joy and peace in the signs. Even if you’re thinking she’s reading into it too much, let it be known, I don’t care.

Not only are you entitled to your opinion of me, I am entitled to live through the lens of LOVE is MAGIC and all things are made of love.

As I told another grieving friend of mine, you can choose to not believe, to not see, to refuse to connect the dots and that is absolutely your choice. It may leave you sad, frustrated, alone and listless but … you were there anyway. I choose to believe, to see, to connect the dots and in doing so, I experience hope and a continued sense of connectivity that quite honestly opens my mind in ways I can’t express with words.

I love this life.

I love the miracles that continuously appear.

If you’re looking for your sign, maybe this is it.

AGAIN.

OKAYILOVEYOUBYEEE,

xx

Nic.

ps. CLASSES THIS WEEK:

* Tuesday QUICKIE YOGA (today) 12-12:30pm pst. $10. This is a well rounded, accessible yoga flow paired with music that includes mobility work and a 5 minute savasana. It’s meant to be a community offering at $10 a class and if you need financial assistance, just reach out. Hope to see you soon. Sign up here.

* Saturday FULL BODY STRENGTH 7:15-8am pst. $20. This is the last class of the MARCH FIT program but open to anyone. We begin with CARS, strength train lower and upper body, enjoy 2 dance breaks, and then end with a 5 minute guided meditation. Come for the dancing, stay for the booty pump. LOL. It’s all levels and the weekend energy is always a delight.  Sign up here.

* Saturday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW 9-10am, 10:15-11:15am. In person, in Santa Monica. Come on out. Sign up here.

* Sunday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW. NO CLASS. Off to Hawaii for a few days.

pps. Sharon Land, one of my elephant parade sisters, did say “Matt will not not be involved.” I laughed so hard bc she’s right. He is masterful like that.

ppps. EPISODE 13 OF SHOCK AND YALL IS OUT NOW. Today I’m speaking with one of my long standing, dearest friends, the stunning KATIE JOY HORWITCH. She has recently launched her 1st book WANT YOUR SELF and we are talking about the complexities of negative self talk. We discuss actionable steps to help us FREAK OUT with a purpose. As well as how to keep your suspicions in check. This talented and devoted writer and speaker will have you rethinking your personal narratives in just under an hour. So excited for you to hear this one. Please share, like, comment, download and review. Or pick one but get excited because it’s good!