New chapter, same book.
Someone once told me that I should compile all of my newsletters and use that as the foundation for this book I keep talking about … Oh, did you know I was talking about writing a book?
I’ve only brought it up once a month since high school.
Last Saturday my friend Suzanne Selmo, you should subscribe to her sub stack here, sent me a poem. She heard it read at a funeral she attended. The author Marc Nepo is a gem of a writer. I have his book The Book Awakening, which I first learned about through my friend Mary Beth La Rue. You should subscribe to her online musings here.
One thing about me is that when I come across writing that hits perfectly I like to beat myself up internally for not ‘writing more often’.
Of course I’m grateful that someone else did the work, found the words, and put it out there.
This poem from Mark Nepo is exactly like that.
Everything is beautiful and I am so sad.
This is how the heart makes a duet of
wonder and grief. The light spraying
through the lace of the fern is as delicate
as the fibers of memory forming their web
around the knot in my throat. The breeze
makes the birds move from branch to branch
as this ache makes me look for those I’ve lost
in the next room, in the next song, in the laugh
of the next stranger. In the very center, under
it all, what we have that no one can take
away and all that we’ve lost face each other.
It is there that I’m adrift, feeling punctured
by a holiness that exists inside everything.
I am so sad and everything is beautiful.
The greatest book ever written is the story that is your life and let me tell you that if you’re not enjoying this main character energy, you and ONLY YOU, can pick the next adventure to shift the arc and make some shit happen.
I can hear it now … but Nicole that’s not my personality. I’m not wired that way. I was raised like such and such. It’s scary to take a leap. I have responsibilities.
God bless - the list of excuses is infinite.
But you already know that.
Your excuses reasons live at the tip of your tongue because they very well may be the result of scars you’ve sustained. I get that.
There’s a great book called Same As Ever by Morgan Housel. One of the chapters toward the end is titled Wounds Heal, Scars Last and he touches on something so important.
I’m paraphrasing but it’s this: The more impactful the surprise (event/occurrence) in your life, the more likely these two things are:
One - We assume what just happened will keep happening, but with greater force and consequence. Secondly we forecast with great conviction, despite the original event being improbable and something few, if anyone predicted.
And important to note - those who didn’t experience that big event will struggle to understand your point of view.
Maybe that’s me right now. I can’t full grasp your reasoning.
The hardest question to ask yourself is “would I think about the world like you do if I experienced what you have?”
That statement stings largely because it’s admitting your own blindspots.
As Housel says on page 199 … “It’s uncomfortable to think that what you haven't experienced might change what you believe, because it's admitting your own ignorance. It's much easier to assume that those who disagree with you aren't thinking as hard as you are.
So people will disagree, even as access to information explodes. They may disagree more than ever before, because as Benedict Evan says, ‘the more the internet exposes people to new points of view, the angrier people get that different views exist.’ Disagreement has less to do with what people know and more to do with what they've experienced. And since experiences will always be different, disagreement will be constant.
Same as it's ever been.
Same as it will always be.
Same as it ever was.”
I share this because I can’t know what you’ve seen, heard, felt, lived … and yet I can guess that some of the chapters may not make sense. Perhaps you’re living that chapter today. If we could learn from history that our ancestors were just as lost, it’s possible we’d hold more grace for our messy bits.
I mean a good plot twist is kinda cool, right?
Accumulating the same chapter over and over again is a choice but if people never agree, different views will always exist, and you’re co-authoring your book - allow your life to be optimally written.
… write it already … she says to herself.
Again.
OKAYILOVEYOUBYEEE,
xx
Nic.
ps.* Tuesday QUICKIE YOGA. 12-12:30pm pst. $10. A well rounded music based mobility focused yoga flow. This was created as a community class and if you ever need financial assistance to attend - please just reach out or use code NEWFRIEND to try a class for free. Sign up here.
* Saturday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW 9-10am, 10:15-11:15am. In person, in Santa Monica. Come on out. Sign up here.
* Sunday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW 10:45-11:45am. In person, in Santa Monica. Come on out. Sign up here.
pps. 4TH OF JULY FULL BODY. Before your beach day/BBQ/fireworks show, join us for a FULL BODY SWEAT SESH. A 45 minute full body workout that begins and ends with CARS, of course. We will strength train upper body, have a 3 min DANCE break, train lower body, have another 3 min DANCE break, cool down, stretch and close out with a five minute guided meditation.
This class flies by and you'll be challenged no matter what your experience level. I suggest bringing your booty band, light and heavy weights and maybe a chair. And if you don’t have any of those things, just show up and move your body. You won’t regret it. Let's get to work… Sign up here.
ppps. JULY 12 DAY TURN-UP. We're doing something different in July. Join us for 12 full days where we TURN IT UP. Beginning Monday, July 7th through Saturday, July 19th we’ll tackle lower body, mobility based yoga, upper body, a walk-n-talk, and full body strength training all in under 2 weeks time. Due to my summer travel schedule, this will shake things up a bit and create an epic 12-day sweat fest right in the middle of your summer fun. Only this will be FUNNER. Is that a word? Don't even worry about it. This has been a hit in summer’s past and I can’t wait to see you there. Get your buns signed up now. LET’S GET AFTER IT. Sign up here.
pppps. Get ready for more and more content about our upcoming PALM DESERT RETREAT!! It will be a unique and magical experience that educates, expands, and creates freedom from the noise. We could all use that. So many of us funnel our energy into making sure the folks around us feel seen, loved, nurtured and alive. Who is doing that for you, my friend? I have updated the available beds on the website page. Visit my RETREAT PAGE on sweatandstillness.com to see photos or drop your name onto the RETREAT LIST to get more dedicated emails as they come. If you’re on the fence, hit me up, let’s discuss how we can get you there. Here’s a few pics … find more on my retreat page linked above.
ppppps. THE LATEST EPISODE OF SHOCK AND YALL IS OUT NOW and I’m speaking with JEN PASTILOFF. Jen is a unicorn of sorts. Writer, 2 x author of On Being Human and her newest book Proof of Life, actress, mother, yoga teacher, TEDx speaker, human connector, lip reader, beauty hunter, magic finder…the list is truly endless. More specifically, Jen Pastiloff is my friend of nearly 17 years and a force of nature, through and through. She’s known for her writing and yoga, retreats, her incredible generosity, her absolute raw truth telling and vulnerability. This one is delicious and RAW!!
Take a listen and LMK what you think…
Here are a few clips…enjoy, listen and please share with your friends…
OH WAIT. You’re still here … could you, would you, pretty please leave us a review on Apple podcasts. Just click this link, scroll to the bottom to leave your thoughts and “stars” and I’ll send you a MASSIVE energetic HIGH FIVE along with my sincere appreciation.