Listen and Learn

In the acting class where I met Matt eleventy billion years ago…(2002)…our coach Andrew would demand we perfect the skill of listening. Turns out that was super fortunate for the relationship he and I wound up having 15 years later. We certainly could listen to one another.

I think we need to talk about this…

The skill of listening, that is.

Thursday night my client and friend Kim and I went to go see Peter Crone speak at his Freedom Series live event in Venice. The first guy to get on the mic was sharing a story and eventually had a question for Peter. This man was educated, super heart forward, passionate, and incapable of listening. At least that’s what we witnessed.

It was funny because if you know Peter, he’s pretty brash and he finally said “Stop talking. Stop analyzing. Stop trying to make this poetic. Listen to me and answer the question.”

The poor guy finally got it, but over the course of Peter’s coaching, we all realized that perhaps the bigger hurdle and the root of his question revolved around his inability to listen.

Cut to another example.

My yoga class.

I was teaching and I had about three Gen Z (aprx. 21-25 yr olds) attendees in the room. Now, I’ve noticed this for almost a decade, but it really came to a head in this particular class.

I’ve done a little bit of homework and it seems this age group (somewhere from 18 to 29) are called “digital natives”. They were the first to have full access to portable technology from the time they were in adolescence … No other generation can relate to this. I see so often with this group that they have no active listening skills. They may hear what I’m saying, but it’s not visible by their face, or by their voice or by their behavior. It’s like talking to a wall.

I’ve never used a cliche with such accuracy.

This prompted an Instagram rant and then a TikTok video to follow as this phenomenon concerns me for future generations. I don’t feel this way about children my son‘s age or slightly older. It’s just this specific demographic for some reason. What freaks me out is whether the offspring of Gen Z will feel seen and heard. Will their children be affected by this lack of active listening?

I have more thoughts.

Remember the days of Covid where everyone was wearing masks, isolated (some more so than others) and shell shocked. I read an article about the unknown dangers of children in certain developmental demographics being unable to read social and emotional cues bc everyone’s faces we’re covered … Between the masks and the Botox there will be a small subset of children that will develop differently, no doubt.

That hit hard.

I don’t have any quick tips and tricks for perfecting your listening skills, however I just recorded an EPIC podcast interview with CC Rice and I asked her about this phenomenon. She said it’s imperative that we show that we are listening for many reasons but one being that the flow of energy will not be reciprocal and that is very, very problematic.

If you’re a parent, you’ve heard the phrase they’re always listening…and boy are they.

I’ve had bed time conversations with Beau in the past where he brought up a conversation Matt and I had while cleaning up after dinner. HE WASN’T EVEN IN THE ROOM. Scary, I know.

Well, this past Saturday Beau’s football team had another awesome football game and he scored another touchdown. Insert super proud mom face!! I also found out that prior to the game, Beau gathered all his teammates and asked them to take a knee so that they could pray. He suggested his friend Brennan lead the prayer because “Brennan is great with words“… As far as I know, Brennan does not have a faith practice or much experience praying but I know this little boy and I’m sure he knocked it out of the park.

I ask my son to pray every night. I remind him to talk to God allllll the time. I also remind him to LISTEN. God speaks through intuition, signs, other humans, the world at large and when we get still. I talk about prayer often and with confidence because I know he’s listening - Beau that is but hopefully God, too.

No matter your age, no matter your environment; listening is vitally important.

This is a skill that not only reinforces safety, presence, and open communication but if you’ve ever seen bad acting, then you know within milliseconds when someone isn’t engaged in the conversation.

And we don’t need any more ‘bad actors’ if you know what I mean…

Really good listening is a gift that could literally change your life.

The Dali Lama said it best: “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”

OKAYILOVEYOUBYEEE,

xx

Nic.

ps. * Tuesday QUICKIE YOGA 12-12:30pm pst. $10. A well rounded music based mobility focused yoga flow. This was created as a community class and if you ever need financial assistance to attend - please just reach out or use code NEWFRIEND to try a class for free. Sign up here.

* Saturday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW 9-10am, 10:15-11:15am. In person, in Santa Monica. Come on out. Sign up here.

* Sunday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW. 10:45-11:45am. In person, in Santa Monica. Come on out. Sign up here.

pps. You may have seen my email from earlier this week about my buddy Laura Conley’s YMX program which is really mindset training, coaching, and actionable, results driven tools to shift your thinking and behavior around food. We’re doing an IG and TT live on Wednesday to talk about how our programming is a perfect marriage and to discuss how I didn’t expect to see such monumental personal changes in my behavior being in her group. Join us on the ‘lives’ to hear more or book a discovery call w her here or use my code NICOLE250 and commit now.

ppps. OCTOBER FIT 2024 is open for registration. Keep yourself in check with our kick ass community of supportive, kind, hilarious and welcoming community. Maybe you took a few months off or need some motivation to bust out of a slump - we got you!! Remember, consistency doesn’t mean perfection. Whether you’re giving 10% or 100%, the key is to just keep showing up. The habits we’re building now will set us up for an stress-free, energized holiday season.

Here’s what’s happening in October:

• 13 LIVE strength + yoga classes

• 35 min on M/W/F, 45 min on Saturdays

• 6:30am PST weekdays, 7:15am PST Saturdays

• CARs for mobility in every class

• Dance breaks (only if you feel sassy - you can always replace dance w burpees. lol)

• Missed a class? Jump in on-demand!

• Optional IG chat for accountability, memes, and holiday prep!

We’re setting the stage for a healthier, happier holiday season. Let’s go into the holiday rush strong, focused, and ready for anything! SIGN UP HERE.

pppps. EPISODE 40 OF SHOCK AND YALL IS OUT NOW and I’m speaking with KEN COLEMAN. Ken hosts an incredible show on the Dave Ramsey network perfectly titled The Ken Coleman Show where he speaks to the necessity of radical self awareness and the nature of finding your purpose, on purpose. In our conversation, he talks us through the 3 pillars of finding your purpose and making the most of your gifts so that you can break free of your 9-5 (if you’re not happy) and live a life that defines you (if you dare). He is also the author of Find The Work You’re Wired To Do. Grab his free GET CLEAR Career Assessment right here and here is a sneak peek from our episode:

OH WAIT. You’re still here … could you, would you, pretty please leave us a review on Apple podcasts. Just click this link, scroll to the bottom to leave your thoughts and “stars” and I’ll send you an energetic HIGH FIVE along with my sincere appreciation.