Easy isn't linear.
Beau and I flew in from Vegas around 10:45 p.m. last night and we didn’t get to bed until about midnight.
I wake up around 5:00 a.m. most mornings, and today was no different. I opened my eyes and thought, “There’s absolutely no way I can teach this lower body class...”.
I had both hands on the bathroom counter, staring at myself in the mirror, talking myself into it. I gave myself permission to not demonstrate as much and to just do something, not everything.
It felt so good to sweat, and again I was reminded that just showing up to move in the smallest way compounds tenfold. Thankfully, I’ve seen and felt evidence of this over and over again which helped me convince my reflection that, yes, in fact I needed to show up.
At the end of the workout, we were talking as a class, and Ashley from the Unfiltered Life Co. had joined class for the first time. She unmuted herself and said “You said this was easy ... just a 35-minute easy workout ... that’s not what that was.”
We all laughed, and I said, “Well, it’s a spectrum. Easy isn’t linear.”
Isn’t that the truth though.
Easy has a sweet little ring to it…
“Oh the volunteer position is so easy.”
“The conversation was just fluid and easy.”
“Yoga tonight will be easy and spacious.”
When in fact easy is a spectrum and that path is often anything but a straight line.
Have you ever prayed for something to be easy - I sure as hell have. I like to negotiate with God on things that I have zero control over just in the HOPES that my intervening makes a ripple and God obliges.
I’m a child.
I realize this.
I’m negotiating with the creator of the universe on the tit for tats of Nicole’s busy week.
LOL
It’s comical.
There’s also a deeper significance to this “easy isn’t linear” business.
Life doesn’t move in a straight line.
LIKE EVER.
Neither does grief.
Neither does confidence.
Neither does building a body.
Neither does becoming yourself again after life cracked you open.
Some seasons you feel magnetic.
Other seasons you cry in a parking lot holding an overpriced protein smoothie wondering why existing suddenly feels like a group project and all these bitches left you high and dry.
Both can be true.
A few things I’ve learned lately:
• Easy can look like getting out of bed when your nervous system wants to disappear.
• Easy can look like choosing the walk instead of the hour long workout.
• Easy can look like not texting the person back.
Not spiraling.
Not abandoning yourself for one more ounce of validation.
Sometimes “doing better” actually feels worse at first because numbness wears off before strength kicks in. You don’t get the relief until you cry the tears. You don’t see the muscle development until you’ve broken yourself down physically, on repeat no less. You don’t find the self respect in the continual chase of those who can’t see their own worth, let alone yours.
The strongest people I know are not the ones who avoid hard seasons.
They’re the ones who stop acting shocked by them.
YET, I STILL PARTICIPATE IN THE ‘SHOCKERY’ … and yes, I know it’s inevitable.
My disbelief doesn’t stick around as long.
That’s progress, I suppose.
Growth is realizing you can feel grief, fear, uncertainty, exhaustion … and still keep your word to yourself anyway.
This is why the spectrum is not a clearly drawn road map.
It’s anything but linear.
Maybe pray about it.
HAH.
But I’m so super serious.
It can’t hurt.
OKAYILOVEYOUBYEEE,
xx
Nic.
Ps. Today’s email song: I write all of these emails with different music each week. Might as well share w you.
Pps. * Tuesday QUICKIE YOGA. 12-12:30pm pst. $10. A well rounded music based mobility focused yoga flow. This was created as a community class and if you ever need financial assistance to attend - please just reach out or use code NEWFRIEND to try a class for free. Sign up here.
* Saturday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW 9-10am, 10:15-11:15am. In person, in Santa Monica. Come on out. Sign up here.
* Sunday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW 10:45-11:45am. In person, in Santa Monica. Come on out. Sign up here.
Ppps. SWEAT, STILLNESS, & F.E.E.L: A Day Retreat by Nicole Sciacca and The Unfiltered Life, co. in Torrance, CA. JOIN US ON THURSDAY MAY 14TH for a one day retreat is on its way. Please check out this beautiful landing page and get excited!! This is for you if you feel disconnected from your body, want to return to a state of peace and clarity within, share in community with likeminded women, enjoy a curated healthy lunch, meditate, dance and FEEL ALIVE - stay tuned. This is going to be a very special day.
Pppps. NEW EPISODE OF SHOCK AND Y’ALL IS OUT NOW. I’m speaking with DR. SASHA HAKMAN. Dr. Sasha is a double board-certified OB-GYN and Reproductive Endocrinology & Infertility specialist — which already sounds intimidating enough to make me sit up straighter. But then you learn she’s one of the physicians literally HELPING WRITE the board exams for future fertility specialists and then you realize… oh. She’s that level. She’s also one of the few doctors in the world offering needle-free IVF, which sounds fake, futuristic, and honestly like something women should’ve had access to ten years ago. But what I love about Dr. Hakman is that she’s not just brilliant — she’s human. She’s walked through infertility herself, she’s deeply compassionate, wildly informative, and somehow manages to talk about reproductive medicine in a way that makes you feel empowered instead of overwhelmed. Which… frankly? Is a public service. She’s a medical advisor for BabyCenter, on multiple advisory boards in women’s health and fertility, has published research in assisted reproductive technologies, stem cell research, genetics, and she hosts her own podcast, Trying to Conceive with Dr. Hakman, where she’s helping drag fertility conversations out of the shadows and into the group chat where they belong. She shares what women in their 30s and 40s NEED to know, and the very real gap between what’s happening in our bodies and what we’ve actually been taught.
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