Death, again.

If you hadn’t heard, my ex husband, Beau’s father passed away last week.

This news gutted me. Again.

He was a character. Larger than life, wild, loud, talented, smart, and reckless in many ways. His jovial spirit lives on in Beau and I’m forever grateful my son got the best parts of his father.

Obviously, I hate this for Beau.

I hate this for his family and the people that loved him.

I hate this for the friends he had and the friends he lost along the way.

This grief is wildly different than the last go around. I haven’t been able to articulate this without regretting my word choices - which I’ve certainly done in the past. Death is not simply about the person, it’s about the memories, the experiences, the feelings, the hopes and dreams unmet. Death hits like a tornado and every loss is unique.

Every hour I find myself thinking about the most charismatic 11 year old boy losing both father figures in 9 months.

We have a long road ahead of us and are being held by community, great friends, supportive coaches, teachers, family and God’s grace.

This email will remain brief because I don’t have the bandwidth right now.

My sincere hope is that you’ll listen to this week’s podcast to hear Taylor Coffman’s impressive story of surviving AHUS and living to tell about it. This is a beautiful testament to LIFE. Choosing to LIVE and the desire it takes to survive when your body is slowly (or in her case rapidly) trying to kill you. Not to mention, she shares about her NDE and had a chance encounter with my secret bestie psychic medium Laura Lynn Jackson long before LL Cool J was a NYT bestseller. Take a listen and prepare to be stunned. Here’s a sneak peek:

OKAYILOVEYOUBYEEE,

xx

Nic.

ps. For the love of all that is HOLY, tell the people you love them THAT YOU LOVE THEM and if you need help, please ask for it.

pps. NO CLASSES THIS WEEK as I’ll be on a family cruise to Rome, Turkey, and Greece. There will be no email next week but my Podcast guest will be the legendary Nicole NIKA McLaughlin so get excited and make sure to subscribe to my show SHOCK AND YALL.

ppps. No JULY FIT but we are doing JULY TEN DAY TURN UP and you need to join us. Ten days of movement, 35 minutes a day, and we are bringing back WALK N TALKS. Check it out and sign up here.