Crockpot Leadership

Beau and I went back to Venice church this Sunday. It was our stomping ground for years when we lived closer. The community is chill, casual, openly flawed and fun. Pastor Mark has always been the most honest and welcoming man of faith. He counseled Matt and I about 5 years ago when Matt and I struggled with the dynamics of co parenting a younger Beau.

There’s an unspoken challenge men face stepping into a single mom’s world to assist, guide and co-parent a child. This is something I never thought about until I was waist deep. Now that I’m unpacking this, I should discuss it further on the podcast. There’s a lot at play and it’s a more and more common occurrence that can yield beautiful and powerful personal relationships.

The best definition for mixed homes as I’ve heard it is … “Your blended family is like a crockpot”.

Not a microwave, not a grill, not a boiling pot of water but a crockpot. The best route is to put your favorite ingredients into the mix and allow everyone to s l o w l y evolve into the perfect family recipe.

In retrospect, we did a really solid job. I can’t believe it’s ‘in retrospect’.

I’m still here. Beau’s still here. We’re missing a major ingredient and this recipe still feels lackluster at times. Next Monday it will be one year. It feels like last month and a decade ago. Never has time felt so meaningless.

Now doubly so with Beau’s biological father having passed as well.

It all still catches me off guard.

I look at this boy and think wow … God isn’t playing with you.

He has great plans for you and your destiny is honestly “yours to lose”. Blessed with a loving community, intelligence, athleticism, (maybe too much) sarcasm, charisma, bright blue eyes (thanks to both his Mimi and Nana), kindness, resilience … I can’t believe I get to be his mom.

During church Pastor Mark was discussing leadership and how we are all leaders. Sorry to those of you who’d prefer to sit back and be led, THE GIG IS UP.

You are leading someone.

A statement he made really struck me: “Are you leading to serve or are you leading to get something in return.” There’s a significant difference in the feeling, in the tone, and in the experience. When you give freely the joy is immeasurable. When you give in hopes of payback the joy is littered with holes.

Leading looks different for all of us and is expressed uniquely during different life chapters. The weight of holding both sides of parenting requires an unnerving amount of leadership. I can’t sit this one out. I’m the meat, potatoes, onions and carrots. This crockpot is at full tilt.

Matt was an incredible leader in our household, for Beau’s football team, in his work life and wildly, in death too.

Recently I was told I’m such a powerfully strong leader.

Of course I rebuked this.

I feel like I’m being led and it’s no longer my gig, if you know what I mean.

This past year I’ve just allowed myself to speak with an open heart. I’m still supported (perhaps more than ever) and being led by divine LOVE. These emails are the perfect example. I’ll start one, it’s going well, and then BOOM —> moved to drafts indefinitely.

I suppose I could resurrect a draft and repurpose it but that doesn’t seem to happen.

I lead with my intuition and the download today is this: You must lead.

You can no longer fall back and wait.

This doesn’t mean you walk into Daryl’s office at lunch and start running payroll, it just means you get clear. Lead by example because that’s a great place to start. It requires that super easy and super attainable quality of personal responsibility and discipline. LOL So easssssy, amiright?

You wouldn’t have contracted into this body, with this soul, at this time to just fall in line and remain silent.

Your indifference is dangerous because I guarantee you someone lines up directly behind you.

That’s the way of the world.

How are you going to lead and where are you called to go?

These are some heavy and necessary questions to ask yourself.

Don’t worry, I’m asking as well.

When the recipe calls for leadership, it’s worthwhile to go all in.

OKAYILOVEYOUBYEEE,

xx

Nic.

ps. * Tuesday QUICKIE YOGA 12-12:30pm pst. $10. A well rounded music based mobility focused yoga flow. This was created as a community class and if you ever need financial assistance to attend - please just reach out or use code NEWFRIEND to try a class for free. Sign up here.

* Saturday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW 9-10am, 10:15-11:15am. In person, in Santa Monica. Come on out. Sign up here.

* Sunday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW. 10:45-11:45am. In person, in Santa Monica. Come on out. Sign up here.

pps. Rent our LABOR DAY YOGA FLOW class and practice with me from home. We all enjoyed this hour long music based yoga flow and you can too…Grab it here.

ppps. EPISODE 38 of SHOCK AND YALL is out now. I’m speaking with DR. GREGORY KELLY of Qualia Life (formerly Neurohacker) and boy do we break it down when it comes to Senolytics, aging, supplements and my new favorite phrase “super responders”. Dr. Greg has quite the personal story and he has dedicated his life to understanding how nutrition and health can be a mainstay in the lives of the collective. I’m so thankful to Qualia for not only being a premier sponsor of my show SHOCK AND YALL but an incredible brand with a heart of gold and products that improve my life … and yours. Take a sneak peek at our conversation and let me know what you think of the episode.

OH WAIT. You’re still here … could you, would you, pretty please leave us a review on Apple podcasts. Just click this link, scroll to the bottom to leave your thoughts and “stars” and I’ll send you an energetic HIGH FIVE along with my sincere appreciation.