0:01

Unsuspecting lessons from an amateur football fan.

It’s an unspoken law that if you grow up in Alabama, you better bleed red and white or orange and blue … I bleed a shimmery shade of purple, which is why I’ve spent the last 22 years in Los Angeles.

Growing up in football country was kinda awesome.

It’s incredible to watch all walks of life get so fired up and passionate about something they seemingly have no control over. Men and women with an encyclopedia’s worth of expertise and detail over players, coaches, championships and what not … It’s remarkable honestly.

I distinctly remember being asked in high school if I was going to Alabama or Auburn for college and I would answer “I’m going to Los Angeles to dance and act”. Often, I was met with wide eyes and skepticism.

I got pretty used to that.

After working in the entertainment industry, I broke my 6 year hiatus and went back for my degree-shout out to Loyola Marymount University.

I also distinctly remember being in an English Lit class when one of the young girls heard me talking about being on set for something or other. She was curious how I’d worked so much and I said well, “I’ve had more time… I’m 29 after all.”

Her jaw dropped and she said “you’re 29 years old in college? What went wrong?”

I wish I had a better come back but I just laughed and said “Nothing… All of this has been my choice…”

When it comes down to it - every second counts…

If you’re a football fan you know this. I was at the Iron Bowl Saturday (my first AL vs AU game EVER) and watched Auburn University hold the game into the last few minutes where everything went absolutely upside down (or right side up - depending on the color of your blood).

How it started:

My brother told me to film that last play bc we reallllllly thought Auburn would win and considering my extended family are huge Auburn fans, I was excited for them. Umm … please enjoy this crushing video and the expression on my poor sister in law, Jess’ face.

They lost to Alabama. All in a matter of seconds.

This sort of shock mirrors the last three months of my life, having lost my life partner, Matt. In a matter of seconds, my world inverted on itself.

Apparently anything can happen in a matter of seconds. The very best of life and the absolute worst.

That 0:01 hits different now.

For context, Auburn won a national championship with one second remaining in 2013. I saw 0:01 printed on Yeti thermoses, T-shirts and tailgating tents. I didn’t understand the significance at first but Jess explained it to me last Saturday.

Auburn fans use it as a reminder that it’s not over until it’s over.

And even then…is it over?

Mind architect and samurai of bluntness, Peter Crone sums it up real well:

“The brain/ego so desperately wants to know what’s going to happen. And therein lies the work; learning to transcend the primal need for security in a world where there is none.”

I’ve read this 20x if I’ve read it once. You can pray, plan and formulate expectations until the 0:01 mark but what happens when somebody catches that football in the end zone and your hard work, dedication, and life’s dreams come hurling down?

I see two options:

• Acceptance. Immediate acceptance. This is the ballziest choice and takes a legit master of consciousness bc the prefrontal cortex of most heathy individuals will get fast to work on “making sense” of it. Some 0:01 moments will make sense in hindsight whereas others will keep you spiraling for as long as you entertain the train of thought. Some folks prefer to keep their minds fixated on the horrors and atrocities we wrestle with on earth. Others can recognize the horrors and atrocities and hold space (that phrase is lame but I mean it literally here) for a “both and” narrative. People are struggling and you can serve those who suffer near you. Accept that a planet this side of heaven would be imperfect and our short lived time can be used for good ... and then of course …

• Denial. Wow Nicole, shocker…the very opposite of acceptance but on the spectrum they might be closer than you’d first imagine. Any far reaching ideology can turn upon itself and into its opposite. As they say, “what you despise, you become. What you fear, you will continually face.” If what we resist, persists then you can surmise that formulating a hard stop to avoid further discomfort might perpetuate matters. Denial is a loan. It’s like the cortisone shot of shitty life chapters. It’s not the answer.

On the flippity flip side, you can love with your whole big throbbing heart and then grieve with a depth to match.

Is it worth it? I say yes. I accept the heartache bc the life lived was worth it. We can accept the loss bc the privilege was ours to experience and it’s a blessing to ‘play the game’ in the first place.

I had a call w my dear friend Jaime McFaden yesterday - she has a gift of seeing me as my fullest, most elevated self.

DO I EXIST LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME? Clearly no …

In fact, these past few months I have become more familiar with the gritty, breath taking feeling of shock and confusion. Essentially I’m getting my masters in “now what”.

Jaime reminded me of my gifts. I can not overstate how necessary it is to have people in your life who can reflect your best qualities to you (when you don’t accept them yourself), it reminds you that denial of your highest expression is just a trap.

A loan.

A 0:01 opportunity for a win or a loss.

A loss that could be avoidable if you can accept the very moment for what it is.

However, please remember that a 0:01 opportunity could potentially turn everything around for you.

And making a “win” out of a loss might be the most champion-like move you can make.

You could be the 0:01 WONDER!!

and I guess I need to say it … Roll Tide?

OKAYILOVEYOUBYEEE,

xx

Nic.

Ps. CLASSES THIS WEEK:

* Tuesday (today) QUICKIE YOGA 12-12:30pm pst. $10. This is a well rounded, accessible yoga flow paired with music that includes mobility work and a 5 minute savasana. It’s meant to be a community offering at $10 a class and if you need financial assistance, just reach out. Hope to see you soon. Sign up here.

* Saturday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW 9-10am, 10:15-11:15am.
In person, in Santa Monica. Come on out. Sign up here.

* Sunday AVIATOR NATION YOGA FLOW. 10:45-11:45am. In person, in Santa Monica. Come on out. Sign up here.

Pps. DECEMBER FIT IS OPEN FOR REGISTRATION! DECEMBER FIT is 12/7 - 12/30 and if you’re in need of some personal time and a way to maintain sanity as we close out 2023, this is for you. What's better than a 30 day opportunity to build muscle mass, stack the habit of showing up 4 days a week, meeting awesome people and keeping the hard stuff under 35 minutes? I can't think of much!! This program is made to be digestible and accessible above all else. If you consider how quickly 35 minutes goes by and just how much we can accomplish in that time, you know it's a sweet deal. Every class begins and ends with CARS. We have cardio dance breaks in each strength session and all the classes go up ON DEMAND if you can't make it live. This is a perfect "fill your own cup" sort of commitment and I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU! I mean it. We have an optional, but awesome, Instagram chat group where we connect, check in and vent! The feedback I hear the most is that it shifts your mood, gives you more energy and helps you feel stronger in small but profound ways. Learn more // sign up here.

Ppps. Something’s coming January 2024 and I’m getting more and more excited to share this with you…what do you think it is?